


Worthy at Last?

by WolfenM



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Thor (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brother Feels, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Depression, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Loki apologia, Marvel Norse Lore, Mother-Son Relationship, Redemption, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-26 17:30:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18721672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfenM/pseuds/WolfenM
Summary: When Loki is willing to commit the ultimate sacrifice, will he finally get what he's always wanted? (Spoilers forWar of the Realms#s 1 & 2,Thor#12, and what's hinted by the first cover for an upcoming Loki series.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You reeeeally need to be at *least* current with the comics, and hopefully going as far back as 2011, to understand what's going on here: familiarity with Kid Loki's appearances in _Journey into Mystery_ (and related crossovers) would help a lot, but is not *strictly* necessary. You also should probably be at least nominally familiar with the second Kid Loki's adventures in _Young Avengers_ , and his grown-up adventures in _Loki: Agent of Asgard_. More important is having read the exploits of the next Loki (aka the God of Story, who first appeared at the end of _AoA_ ) in _The Mighty Thor (2015)_ (various issues), _Thor (2018)_ (again, various issues), _Doctor Strange_ issues #381-385, _Avengers (2018)_ #s 1-6, and the recent Infinity Wars event. Oh, and it helps to know about yet another Kid Loki's appearance, in _Asgardians of the Galaxy_ #s 2-6. Most of this material is covered in my column over at _Sequential Tart_ \-- you can find a list of the installments [here](https://wolfenm-marveling.tumblr.com/lal-links).) This story picks up a bit after where _Thor_ #12 leaves off, and is inspired by the cover of the upcoming first issue of the new _Loki_ series (and will undeniably be jossed by canon, but this was just one of those stories that wouldn't leave me alone, LOL!).
> 
> Disclaimer: These versions of Loki, Thor, Freyja, Odin, Balder, and Laufey, and Thori, Stephen Strange / Dr Strange, Steve Rogers / Captain America, Kate Bishop, Jane Foster, Logan / Wolverine, Frank Castle, Karnilla, Laussa, and Angela / Aldrif, all ©Marvel. Not used with permission, and no profit is being made.

Loki was brought to consciousness by the putrid, acrid stench of burnt Jotunn offal. 

When he opened his eyes, the sight of the carnage seemed to make the smell even worse. He would have emptied the contents of his stomach, if it wasn't already empty. 

And it was empty, he realised, because it was brand new. 

Loki had been reborn. 

_Again._

He sat up and his hands aloft, glaring at the offending, blue-blood-covered appendages. They weren't supposed to exist. 

_He_ wasn't supposed to exist. 

His breath hitched in grief a moment, and then he roared his outrage to the heavens, slamming his left fist against the ground. All that did was confirm that he was alive; he doubled over, gasping and cradling his now-probably-fractured hand. And he began to sob in earnest, asking "Why?" whenever he could find the breath to do so. 

" _Loki?_ " 

Loki couldn't tell is the speaker was horrified by the blood covering him, or by the simple fact that he was there at all. Even when he realised his head towards the sound, confirming it was his mo--Lady Freyja, he wasn't sure if he was welcome in her sight. 

And then he saw his brother, Thor, beside her, and no longer cared. He only had one thought. 

"A hammer!" he demanded as he stumbled to his feet, shaking like a fawn, realising belatedly that he was naked as one as well, and as painted with blood. " _Tell_ me you have a hammer on you! Or Lady Freyja, lend me that sword! _Anything_ so long as it will _end_ me!" 

" _End_ you? We don't even know how you're _alive!_ " Thor protested. 

"I-I don't know either," Loki replied, looking at his hands as if he might find a cheat-sheet there. He shook his head. "It doesn't really matter anyway, does it? All that matters is that I _die!_ " 

"But _why_ do you want to die?" Lady Freyja asked; some small part of him was happy that she seemed distressed by the fact. 

He shook his head in wonderment. " _You_ should know that better than anyone, Lady Freyja, after what I did to you." 

She gave him a soft look then, and he turned away, unable to bear it. 

"Loki, I ...." 

"If you mean to forgive me, don't. It's best for everyone if there is no more Loki -- sooner or later, he _will_ betray you." He turned to Thor. "So go on, then. Go for the head -- I don't think anything less than that will do the job." (Truth be told, he wasn't sure that would do the trick either, but it was worth a shot.) 

Thor side-eyed him. "This is some sort of trick." 

Well, crap. "It certainly seems like it, doesn't it?" Loki realised, eyes to the ground and hand raised to his mouth in thought. His eyes scanned the area distractedly as he pondered his predicament. As he did, he saw that there was fighting, but also that it was drawing to a close, most of the remaining enemies trying to escape. A few heroes started taking note of Loki and his family then, and began to approach. Well, good; maybe one of them would be more accommodating of his desire to die! 

Or maybe not; they were heroes, after all, and he was pretty sure Thor was the most murderous of them, save maybe for Logan and Frank Castle. (Were they around?) 

A spark of light caught Loki's eye, and he hurried over to it: a dagger, sunk into the chest of a Dark Elf. 

Malekith. 

Loki sank to his knees beside the corpse, sighing. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did to you -- and for all I caused to happen after that." 

"See, Mother -- he mourns his ally!" Thor snarled. 

"Loki, explain yourself," Lady Freyja warned. 

"I had forgotten this until I was being digested by Laufey, but ... long ago, when Malekith was just a boy, I had sparked a _war_ \-- and Malekith had literally been forced to pick up the pieces, pulling bodies from the battlefield. That experience left him callous, even to the lives of his own people. Ergo, _I_ planted the seed for the War of the Realms." 

To Loki's great startlement, Thor began to laugh. "And you think he wouldn't be like that otherwise? That that isn't at the very _heart_ of Dark Elf culture? Oh, Loki, your hubris knows no bounds, does it? Not content to take the credit for your own misdeeds, now you try to take credit for Malekith's as well?" 

Loki sighed. "I hadn't meant to -- I was only trying to take responsibility for my own actions. Maybe you're right, and Malekith was a powder-keg just waiting to go off, but I didn't _have_ to be the spark that set him off. And I _could_ have tried to prevent anyone _else_ from being it, too." 

"Loki--" Freyja began. 

He didn't give her time to finish -- every moment longer that he lived increased the odds that he would become the Necrogod. Thankfully, Loki was more afraid of becoming that monstrosity than he was afraid of death. He pulled the dagger free from Malekith's chest, then aimed it at his own eye, driving it home. 

Then he in Lady Freyja's arms, gasping like he's been sucker-punched in the solar plexus. But his hand was no longer injured, and he could see out both eyes. 

He was alive -- _again_. 

"How?" he croaked, defeated. Looking around, he saw the backs of dozens of heroes, as they stood guard around the family, fending off ay last would-be conquerors. He honestly thought it was beyond brave of them to turn their backs to a Loki .... 

"You're _healed!_ " Lady Freyja marveled. "I don't know how -- it just ... _happened!_ " 

Thor, kneeling beside them, looked skeptical. "Maybe he didn't actually stab himself at all." 

"And what about him getting eaten by Laufey?" she countered. "Are all these remains around us an illusion?" 

"One way to find out," Thor replied, holding Mjolnir over Loki's head. 

The last thing Loki thought before the darkness came (once more) was that he was glad for Thor that he'd gotten his best-loved hammer back. 

And then Loki was awake. _Again_. 

"Dammit! There _has_ to be a way for me to die!" 

"I didn't try to _kill_ you just now, brother! I simply knocked you out, to see if all this--" Thor gestured to their gore-filled surroundings "--would disappear once you weren't conscious to maintain an illusion. And it _didn't_ , so it seems you _did_ get eaten by Laufey." Thor looked to his mother. "That doesn't mean that this isn't all part of some plan, though. Maybe he had some spell set up to bring himself back to life. I did it with Mjolnir once -- it should be child's play for him." 

Lady Freyja looked like she wanted to argue, but couldn't. Loki understood -- he couldn't trust himself, his own (supposed) motives, so how could anyone else? Loki struggled out of the lady's embrace (ignoring the small gratification he felt that she'd actually made something of an effort to stop him). "You know what? You're totally right. This is all a trap. Doesn't change that you need to end me, right? So _come at me, bro_." 

Thor glowered. "You must really think I'm a fool. If you _want_ me to kill you, obviously I shouldn't!" 

"Ah, but maybe I just want you to _think_ I want you to kill me, so that you _won't_ kill me!" 

"Then you wouldn't _tell_ me!" Thor pointed out, 

"Unless I wanted to reinforce your belief that I _do_ want you to think I want you to, so you won't!" 

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Loki couldn't help but feel a wash of fondness as Thor obviously struggled with that convoluted logic. The big lug. 

Time to do what Loki did best: antagonise his brother. 

"Poor Thor, did I break your brain? Oh, right, can't break what you don't have," Loki sneered, dashing forward to punch the bigger man in the ribs. Then he used the most effective weapon for telling a lie: the truth. "There will come a day when you'll dearly regret letting me live now. A day at the end of time, when I will slaughter _everyone_ you hold dear -- and more besides! And you will see the carnage, and remember that you could have _stopped_ it all, at this." Punch. "Very." Punch. "Moment!" 

Thor grabbed Loki's arm and, perhaps for the first time in their many lives together, _looked_ at Loki. 

His expression shifted from annoyed consternation, to genuine fear. "You're ... you're telling the _truth_." 

Between seeing Thor finally believe him, and Loki's fear that the future was inevitable, Loki was suddenly overwhelmed by his emotions. Sobbing anew, it was all he could do to even nod. 

"But you seem genuinely _upset_ by the prospect, so ... why not just _not do it?_ " Thor asked, letting him go. 

It wasn't lost on Loki that Thor both seemed to believe Loki wanted to and _could_ ; he was appreciative of that benefit of the doubt. Loki swallowed back his tears, taking a deep breath; it was still hard to speak. "The me _right now_ doesn't want it; I don't know how I reach a point where I _do_. The only way I can make _sure_ it doesn't happen is if I _stop existing!_ " 

"But we've just seen you come back to life _twice_ now! How are you supposed to stop existing if you can't _die?_ " 

"Thor!" Lady Freyja smacked Thor's arm. "You're talking like you _agree_ to this madness!" 

Thor looked like he'd been stricken far harder. "I ... no, I don't." Where Thor had had murder in his eyes not long ago, now there was just sadness and concern. 

Loki scowled. Once upon a time, he would have been happy to have Thor look at him like that, but now? It was a _bad_ thing. "You've tried to kill me before -- this is nothing new!" 

"It is!" Thor countered. "You want to die to save everyone now! Whereas the Lokis I've tried to kill were all trying to _hurt_ people -- well, at least as far as I knew at the time. In any case, this time is _entirely_ different!" 

Loki was both ashamed of and grateful in that moment for having a silver tongue. "Then look at this as me helping you fight a monster, and falling in battle!" Loki pleaded. "Look at it as a _mercy_ killing! I _can't_ become that .... that _thing!_ " 

"And like I said, how do you expect me to end you? You've already demonstrated that you _can't die!_ " Thor snapped. 

Something occurred to Loki. "It's the Necrogod! He must have healed me before I finished dying, and so saved himself! You have to kill me faster than he can resurrect me!" 

Thor blanched. 

Fear and desperation flooded Loki. "Do I have to do everything myself, you big oaf!" he snapped, grabbing Mjolnir and yanking without thinking. 

And then it sank in that he was holding the hammer all on his own. 

"I'm ... _worthy_?" he breathed. 

He then _held_ his breath, expecting the hammer to fall out of his grasp at any moment. It was what he'd wanted most, his whole life, even when he was at his worst: not to be as beloved as Thor (though that had been the main way his true desire had manifested), but rather to have definitive proof that he had _value_ , despite a lifetime of being told otherwise. 

He chuckled at the irony: it seemed the only way he had value was in his willingness to cease to exist. _I should have learned that from Kid Loki's example long ago._

He raised Mjolnir up, then tried to bring the hammer down upon his own head. 

The hammer wouldn't cooperate, hovering no matter how much he pulled. 

"Oh, not you too!" Loki sighed. Then he had an idea. Looking skyward, he called out, "Hey! You Who Live Above in Shadows! You wanted to eat me once before -- now's your chance, god-eaters!" 

Nothing. 

He looked to Lady Freyja, who was staring, agape, at Mjolnir in his hand. Another day, he might have shown it off to her, proud, but now he had more pressing concerns. 

Still glancing around, he noticed her sword on the ground beside her. He let go of Mjolnir, then used his magic to pulled the sword over to him, full-speed, intending to telekinetically lop his head off with it. 

Mjolnir deflected it. 

"Oh, _come ooon!_ " Loki whinged. "I can see you not being able to strike down a worthy person, but if the whole reason I _am_ worthy is because I'd rather die than become the Necrogod, then why stop me from doing just that?" 

"Because the very fact that you've _been_ found worthy means you won't become him, my son," Lady Freyja said gently as she approached. 

How could those words, "my son", both hurt and be a balm at the same time? _Because you wanted to hear them again so badly, but still don't feel like you deserve it, no matter what Mjonir has to say about it._ He shrank from her reach. "Begging your pardon, Lady Freyja, but if Thor could become _un_ worthy, then that's an especially likely fate for a Loki." 

"Is it?" Thor asked with surprising gentleness. "Mjolnir explained to me that _I_ was the one who kept myself from wielding it -- Mjolnir had never actually considered me unworthy itself. What does it say to _you_?" 

Hesitant, Loki reached for the hammer, still hovering before him. 

It didn't actually _speak_ ; Loki just suddenly _knew_. Knew that, once he had made the choice to die rather than become the Necrogod, and made every effort to follow through with that plan (and no, the reason he hadn't been able to use Mjolnir on himself was _not_ because of some latent sence of self-preservation), then he had forevermore stepped off the path that could have led to him becoming the Necrogod. 

But how, then, could Loki still be alive, if it was the Necrogod that had resurrected him inside Laufey? If the Necrogod was never to be, then how could he reach through time to save Loki? 

And then Loki understood that that wasn't actually what had happened. 

He looked to Lady Freyja in awe. " _You_ saved me?" 

She looked as confused as he felt. 

"That's what Mjolnir says ... that, just as Thor had once wished me back to life, so you too wished for me to live, while I was inside Laufey. It was near enough to hear your prayer. Hammers forge things, so it forged me anew." _Twice. **Thrice** , if we count the knife just now._ He was undecided whether to thank it or not; he sensed some amusement from it over that. "A least it didn't bring me as a child alone in a foreign country this time," he mused. Then he wrinkled his nose as he looked down at himself. "Well, then again, that would have been a lot more pleasant than waking up in the remains of my birth-father. What _happened_ to Laufey, anyway?" 

"I hit him with my-- _our_ hammer," Thor explained. "A _lot_." 

Loki scowled in confusion, and started to hand the hammer back to his brother. " _Our?_ Mjolnir belongs to _you_ , brother!" He found he no longer had any desire at all to take Thor's place -- he wanted Thor _beside_ him, not below. 

Thor nodded, but held his hand up in refusal of the offer. " _And_ to you -- we are _both_ worthy sons of Odin. So it's high time I learned to share. I have other hammers; _you_ keep Mjolnir for a while." 

The tears that fell from Loki now were happy ones. 

"Oh, and here--" Thor raised his hand to the sky. 

Suddenly, it was pouring torrential rain. 

Loki and Freyja both yelped - as did several amongst the circle of heroes. Thor mimed washing up; Loki hurriedly did, scrubbing himself clean as fast as he could, the sooner to get Thor to halt the rain. (He was ten kinds of embarrassed when Lady Freyja began scrubbing his back, his hair, his face.) As quickly as it started, the deluge stopped. 

Thor draped his cloak over Loki's shoulders. 

"Thanks, brother," Loki smiled fondly. He was so touched by the gesture, he was tempted to keep the physical evidence of his brother's affection for a little while ... but it felt dishonest. "Now that I'm cleaned off and have my wits about me, though, I think I can manage ...." 

A moment later, he was back in a variant of the garb he'd favoured in recent years. He handed the cloak back. 

"Keep it a while -- red and green are good together," Thor grinned, clapping Loki's back. 

Loki grinned back. "That they are, brother." 

A sniff from Freyja caught his attention. He turned to her and found her beaming at them, eyes glittering with tears. She then held her arms out to him. "Loki, my son, can you ...?" 

He dashed into her embrace, weeping into her shoulder as she stroked his hair. He'd fully believed this comfort was beyond him; he would never take it for granted again. 

"I'm so, _so_ sorry, Mother! I--" 

"Hush, my child," she soothed. "I apologise too -- it was too much to ask of you, to resume a role you'd tried so hard to cast aside. I see now that you really _were_ trying to protect me from a worse fate, and did the best you could in the circumstances I'd pressured you into." 

"No, Mother, I--" 

She held a finger to his lips. "Listen to your mother," she teased. "I should have been helping you prove you'd changed, instead of reinforcing everyone's negative perception of you. I _used_ you. And for that, I am ashamed. We both have some work to do, I think. But I swear to you here and now, that anyone seeking to hurt you, will have to go through _me_ first." 

"And me," Thor swore, laying a heavy hand on Loki's shoulder. "I don't always do a good job of showing it, but I love you, brother." 

Loki's voice was rough when he replied, "I love you, too." He could swear he could hear the Lokis of the past (save Kid) screaming in disgust -- music to his ears. 

Crying while happy was a strange sensation, but Loki welcomed it -- it was better than crying while angry or sad (experiences he was all too intimate with). Sniffling, he turned to bring Thor into the embrace with their mother, gratified when Thor rest his head on his and squeezed his shoulder. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be at least three more, *shorter* chapters; two are mostly done.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain America, Doctor Strange, and Angela all have bones to pick with Loki.

"Thor, Lady Freyja ... uh, Loki ...." Captain America stood a little ways away, looking apologetic. (Doctor Strange, beside him, looked ready to send Loki on a one-way trip into another dimension.) "I hate to bother, but if things are okay with you now, we could use some help with the wounded." He'd kept his eyes on Loki the entire time. 

"Of course, Captain, we're happy to help," Freyja assured him. "Come, my sons." 

"I'll catch up in a minute, Mother," Loki promised. "If I might have a word, Captain Rogers? Stephen?" 

The pair stiffened, clearly ready for a fight. 

Loki sighed. "Look, you both have every reason in the world not to trust me, especially after the Celestials incident and the thing with the Infinity Stones -- and after what I pulled with cheating you out of the office, Stephen," he added. "So ... what would you feel most comfortable with happening right now? If you want me to leave, I'll leave. If you want me to be cuffed, I'll be cuffed. If you want me dead, I welcome you to try -- I won't defend myself. Whatever it takes -- you don't need the distraction of worrying that I'll stab you in the back at any moment." 

The pair exchanged looks. Finally, Stephen shrugged. "Okay, I'll bite. Why did you trick me like you did?" 

Loki winced. "Magic needed to be fixed, and I didn't trust that would happen under you. And, I thought, if I couldn't be a Thor, surely I could be a Sorcerer Supreme. I hoped maybe people would finally respect me -- obviously it didn't work," he finished ruefully. 

Stephen laughed heartily. "You think people _respect_ me? If only!" 

"Perspective, Stephen -- from where _I_ stand, they do, certainly more than they repect _me_ ," Loki replied wryly. 

Rogers spoke up. "Look, I believe that you really wanted Thor to kill you just now, and that you really are afriad for what you could become. But if you tried to die to save us, then why did you do what you pulled with the Celestials? All that talk of the world being _cleansed_ ...." 

"Oh! Evil villain monologue, for the purpose of exposition!" Loki explained cheerfully -- it had been one of his better ideas, one that had actually _worked_. "I mean, I didn't want to give up my cover as part of Malekith's army, so I had to pretend to still be a villain, but I also had to let you know what I knew. Besides, if I had told you straight out, would you have listened? _I_ wouldn't have, in your shoes. Not to mention, as the God of Story, I felt like I had to accept whatever role was best for me to play in the story." 

Rogers side-eyed Loki. "So basically, you're saying you manipulated us ionto doing what needed to be done?" 

Loki shrugged apologetically. "It's all I know how to _do_ , and the only role anyone will let me _have_. So I've been trying to make the most of that." 

"And the thing with the Infinity Stones?" Rogers prompted. 

"Yeah, okay, that was ... it was selfish. But in my defense, the old me would have killed you all! I just wanted to be able to get some answers, and I knew no one would let me have the Stones under ordinary circumstances!" 

"And what did you want to know?" Stephen wondered. 

Loki felt melancholy creep back in. "Why no one will let me change. Why all my attempts at being a hero end in failure." (Even his most recent effort, technically.) 

"So what did you _learn_?" Stephen pressed. 

"That I fail at everything because I'm my own worst enemy. That as much as I like to _think_ I could change, be a hero ... the very fact that I wanted to be one for selfish reasons meant I _couldn't_ be." A disturbing thought occurred to him. "Stephen, do you ... do you think Mjolnir can be _wrong_? That my brother could be wrong about me never becoming the Necrogod now?" 

Again, the uneasy exchange of glances. 

"I don't know," Stephen finally replied. "I don't like to deal in absolutes." 

"But I think the fact that you're _worried_ about it is a good sign," Rogers weighed in. 

"If we can believe that I _am_ ," Loki sighed. "I'm pretty good at lying to myself." 

"Look," Rodgers said, "the way I see it, between Thor (whom I trust), Mjolnir, the fact that Lady Freyja _told_ us she'd sent you in as a spy, the logic of everything I've overheard you say today, and the simple fact that it's my personality to want to believe the best of people ...? That's enough to at least give you the benefit of the doubt. Okay? So if you wanna help ... then, well, _help_." 

Loki nodded, then headed after Thor and his mother. 

"Not so fast, little brother." Loki turned and found Angela approaching. 

"Sister," he nodded. 

She grinned -- and when she was close enough, she clocked him. 

"That was for the _other_ you!" 

"'Other' me?" he asked, rubbing his jaw, utterly perplexed. 

"The _child_ -you," she growled. "The one you conjured to help me with my mission -- and then erased as if he were _nothing_!" 

"Your 'mission'? Angela, I haven't a clue what you're talking about!" 

But, he suddenly realised, he _did_. Or at least, another _version_ of him did. 

"Time travel," he sighed. You could never really tell what was going to stick, and what wasn't -- especially when the Time Stone and the God Quarry were involved. 

"What _about_ time travel?" Angela asked, prodding him -- literally, in the shoulder, with her sword. 

"There was a me who did what turned out to be some bad stuff, then erased it all - or most of it. I assume this child version of me was _his_ doing." 

"Oh, so _not_ you -- how _convenient_ ," she sneered. 

"Yes, actually, its _is_ \-- _if_ you're really going to run me through. Been trying to get _someone_ to kill me for the last twenty minutes," he replied, leaning forward. 

She pulled the sword away before it could get past his scalemaille. 

"So why would this other you make the child cease to be?" 

Loki sighed. "Probably because having multiple Lokis around isn't the best of ideas. The more there are of us, the bigger the risk we'll go bad. And since he basically erased _himself_ , and didn't leave a message for me telling me that this new Kid existed, I wouldn't knave known to keep an eye on him. What did the Kid help you with, anyway?" 

She told him. 

As she finished, Loki could feel himself go paler -- was surpised he didn't turn into his natural Jotunn blue, really. 

"You were on _Ego?_ " he squaked. 

The words of the Necrogod, about having been reborn in the lava of Ego, echoed in his ears. 

"It's not me," he whispered. He should have been overjoyed, but he wasn't. "My other self must have known about the future me, so he had the Kid disappear because he was afraid that _any_ iteration of me could become the Necrogod. And he was _right_!" 

"The child seemed far less likely to go evil than _you!_ " Angela countered. 

"Be that as it may, it's too much of a coincidence. A Loki born of Ego, a place where a Loki ceased to exist? A Loki who hates me, and talks like he's a separate person? That black sword must have ressurected him somehow, and ... _tainted_ him. Or maybe it was just the bitterness of his death, stewing over eons, that twisted him into such evil. In any case, we have to try to _find_ him." 

"Find who?" Freyja asked, approaching with Thor. 

Loki explained. By the time he was done, his mother and brother looked as alarmed as he felt. 

"Listen, brother, I agree that we must find him -- but if it took this black sword to raise him, then we must find something similar _first_ , must we not?" Thor asked. "In order to raise him ourselves, but without him being so ... _murder-y?_ " 

Okay, so maybe Thor was smarter than Loki had given him credit for. 

"We will figure it out," Freyja promised. "For now, we are all exhausted -- we need to rest a while. I can hardly think straight!" 

Loki agreed, but he didn't think he would really be _able_ to rest, knowing the seed that could become the Necrogod was still out there somewhere. And the irony wasn't lost on him that, in attempting to _prevent_ the existence of the Necrogod, the Loki of the original timeline likely had instead _created_ him. For a moment, Loki considered changing the timeline yet again .... 

No. No, he would probably just make things _worse_ if he did that. It was that kind of hubris -- thinking he knew best, and trying to fix it all himself, withoout input from others -- that had caused a lot of problems of late. At least in this timeline they had come to understand what was going on. 

He would trust that his family could help him. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A confrontation with Balder, and a reunion with an old friend.

It wasn't much longer before the wounded were gathered and teleported to the Avengers headquarters in the North Pole. 

Balder, Thori, and Odin, the latter holding baby Laussa, greeted everyone as they arrived, helping to direct people. When Loki came before them, the All-father and Balder (and Thori, for that matter) wore identically perplexed expressions. 

"He's back?" Balder asked their mother, gesturing to Loki. "And you seem ... _happy_ about it?" 

"'Tis a long story, brother," Thor answered for her as she took her daughter in her arms. "One to be shared over a feast, not in the doorway," he added, clapping Balder's shoulder, then greeting Thori with a rough scratching. 

Loki's heart hurt at the sight of the reunion between god and dog, remembering a time when he'd thought Thori had loved him, until the dog had betrayed him. This affectionate scene between the dog and his new master seemed genuine, though. If Loki was to have any hope of being forgiven for his betrayals, he needed to be willing to forgive Thori ... but he had a feeling Thori would never care either way. 

Starting to feel overwhelmed by emotion again, Loki looked away -- and found Odin staring at his hand. 

"Loki, you're ...." 

Loki looked down himself, and found Mjolnir in his grasp. _Oh. Right._

Odin scowled, and Loki prepared himself for cries of "Thief!" and "Usurper!" Instead, though, the All-Father sighed. "Boy, I thought I told you that you have your _own_ way. We _have_ a Thor; we don't need another! You're _Loki_! God of _Story!_ " 

Loki suddenly knew a thing. "You're right, Father. And right now, Mjolnir and I have a story or two -- maybe more -- to tell together. A story of trickery and mischief -- but the good kinds! The kinds that save lives and helps others, like in the ballads of Robin Hood and the tales of Sherlock Holmes!" 

"Oh. Well, then," Odin smiled. "I look forward to hearing those." 

Loki wasn't sure that was the truth, but he appreciated Odin saying it anyway. 

"Look at us all, our family back together at last!" 

"Except for Tyr," Balder reminded him, his tone neutral. 

"He lost the right to count himself part of this family," Odin growled. 

_So did I, once upon a time_ , Loki thought to himself. But then, even if Loki hadn't earned his way back, and was missing today, Odin's words would have been the same, he reckoned. Odin meant that all who _wanted_ to call themselves kin were there now. 

The only probem was, Loki wasn't sure if everyone wanted to call _him_ kin. 

"Where is Jane?" Freyja wondered. 

Odin grew somber. "With the last of the Valkyrior. Brunnhilde ... _so many_ didn't make it. Jane avenged them. The last of them are inducting her into their number now, as their new leader." 

Brunnhilde hadn't been Loki's biggest fan, and vice versa, but he respected her sacrifice, and lowered his head with everyone else. 

"The battle's over," Odin announced suddenly, his booming voice like thunder in the hall. "Time to sing songs and drink to our dead." And with that, he started, undoubtedly, for the Avengers' mess hall. 

(Loki wondered if, when Thori, close on Thor's heels, looked back a moment, he really was looking for Loki, or it was just wishful thinking.) 

As everyone followed, Loki gently tapped on Balder's shoulder. 

The god barely looked at him, and certainly didn't slow. "What do you want?" he growled. 

Loki swallowed hard. "I ... it's long overdue, and I totally understand if you tell me to go take a long walk off a short pier, but ... I owe you an apology. I know it doesn't undo anything, but I _am_ sorry -- for killing you long ago, and for all the lies and the manipulations." 

Balder finally stopped, and stared at him for a long moment. Finally, "I don't know what to say to that." 

Loki cast his eyes to the floor. "You don't have to say anything -- _you're_ the wronged party. If you never want to see me again, then I'll do my best to keep out of sight." And with that, he began to head back towards the teleporter. 

"I didn't say I wanted you to go," Balder called out when Loki was almost to the control panel. 

Loki paused, hopeful, but couldn't bring himself to turn back around to see Balder's face. "What _do_ you want?" 

"To know what _you_ want." 

Loki thought on it. "To be helpful -- and not hated anymore. For people to be happy, 'an it harm none'. For you to have whatever joy I've kept you from." 

He heard Balder approach, and stiffened out of reflex. He flinched when Balder touched his shoulder. The other god sighed. 

"Face me, Loki." 

Loki did, nervous. 

"You don't rule Hel without seeing some awful people," Balder remarked. "And yet, you also see people re-examine their lives down there, and sometimes _change_. And when you came to Hel not long ago, you _helped_ us. The man I see now isn't the man who killed me long ago, nor the man who whispered poison in my ear when I was the king of Asgard. I can't say I can forgive and forget the past, but ... well, you've earned a chance to forge a new future -- with that hammer at your side. But if you stray from this new path ...." 

"You'll put me down. Promise?" 

Balder blinked. "... Yes?" 

"Good. I don't _want_ to slip off this path -- I don't want to go where the road I was on back then would have taken me. I can't trust Thor to do what's necessary; I need to know that _someone_ will. And you have to be thorough -- lop off my head, burn everything, mix the ashes in massive blocks of cement, and put them in different places that are hard to reach. Different _realms_." 

Balder smirked, bemused. "Gladly. Just ... do your best to keep that from being _necessary_ , okay?" 

"I will; I just hope my will is _enough_." 

"I have a feeling it will be," Balder replied with a strange, far-away look. 

_Karnilla told him something about my future,_ Loki realised, afraid to ask for specifics. 

"Come, now," Balder said, slinging an arm around Loki's shoulder. "We have mead to drink and stories to share!" 

Loki was surprised at all the smiles that met him when he reached the entryway of the mess. Not just the rest of his family, who shared a long table with last of the Valkyrior and other Asgardians, but from Stephen, Captain Rogers ... even Spider-Man and Logan! 

And a familiar and much-beloved face he'd never thought to see again. 

" _Kate_ ...." he whispered. 

She hurried from her seat, and practically pounced on him. "LOKI!! I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever see you again!" 

"Did you _want_ to, after ...?" 

She blinked. "Is _that_ why you disappeared that night?" She batted his arm. "After all we went through togther, you thought we'd be mad? You should have had more faith in us! Seriously, all things considered, those were some of the best months of my life!" 

Loki shook his head. "It wasn't that I was afraid you'd be angry -- quite the opposite! It was that I was afraid you'd _forgive_ me, when I didn't _deserve_ to be. I'd played you all, and nearly got you all _killed_!" 

"Pfft! You know how many times _that one_ nearly got me killed?" She pointed to the male Hawkeye. "Or hurt my feelings? Pushed me away? And America, too -- I didn't speak to her for a while after she said ... a thing. But we're besties again! God, Lokes, I may know how to hold a grudge, but if I gave up forever on _everyone_ who disappointed me, I wouldn't have anyone left in my life. And really, the same probably goes for me -- if everyone gave up on _me_ , I wouldn't have anyone left either!" She grew serious. "I _saw_ ... like _literally_ saw ... what you were going through, Loki. You weren't just being a jerk; you were _suffering_. Dealing with the guilt of who you'd been. Trying to find who you were. We _all_ were, in one way or another. Your psychosis was just a bit more .... _projected_ than most people's. And hey, Noh-Varr _dumped_ me, but we're friends again too! And I suppose sooner or later I'll put mom back on my Christmas card list." 

Loki blinked. "Your stepmother?" 

"Oh, no, no, no! See, turns out my _birth_ mother is still alive--er, well, undead. And she tried to eat America, so that's why I'm on the outs with Mom now. I mean, that's not something you can let go of easily, ya know? But I suppose I will eventually, I just ... I need some time. Time in which I told her to stay away from me and my friends. Which means you too, so if you see a vampire who says she's my mom, feel free to tell her to get lost!" 

For as chipper as she'd sounded, Loki knew she was hurting; Clint Barton was a master at using humour to cover pain, so Kate had doubtless learned from one of the best. Loki held his arms open to her, as she'd done for him so often when he was still Kid Loki. When she glomped on to him now, fiercely, his heart swelled, even as it ached for her. She'd always been his favourite of that little group of theirs -- the first group he'd ever felt even a little welcome in. He wished more than anything that he'd gained those friends without trickery. 

"Kate ... if that's a bond you want to fix, don't take too long. You never know when you won't get another chance." He wiashed he was better at taking his own advice -- and grateful that he was getting this h=chance now, with her, with his family .... 

She sighed heavily. "You're right. I'll try to find her -- tomorrow." 

"That's my girl," he smiled. "I have someone I need to find myself, but if you haven't found your mother by the time I'm done, I'll help you. Here." He conjured a coin. "If you ever need me, hold it and call out to me. Provided I'm not being eaten by another Jotunn or something, I'll come as fast as I can." 

She beamed, then hugged him tight again. "Thanks, Lokes." 

"Thank _you_." If not for her influence, he might still be nothing more than the monster who'd murdered the best version of himself. (Now, he almost wish Mjolnir _had_ returned him to his child-state.) 

"Loki, boy, stop dilly-dallying!" Odin called out. "You have a story to tell!" 

Loki sighed, "Duty calls." 

She grinned. "Well, I want to hear this anyway, so come on!" And she tugged him towards his family. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm chomping at the bit for Loki to have a reunion with his Young Avengers crew in the comics -- especially Kate ....
> 
> Probably one more chapter to go.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki tells his story; how will the heroes react?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admittedly did something similar to this in my story ["The Truth Will Out (But Sometimes It Needs Help)"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9446825/chapters/21373484). Hopefully the differences will make it worth the retread, LOL!

The heroes had been gathering their chairs around the table claimed by the Asgardians, so now the place resembled an impromptu amphitheatre, with the table as a stage. Odin gestured to the tabletop; Loki obliged him by climbing up on it. He scanned the crowd; while it wasn't exactly animosity-free, there was more curiosity than ire, with most eyes on the hammer swinging from his belt. 

Loki took a deep breath ... and was at a loss as to what to say. "Sorry, I'm not sure where _exactly_ to begin. Maybe with when Laufey ate me?" 

"With Kid Loki," Thor replied. "I think you need to go back at _least_ that far for people to understand how you got where you are now." 

Loki nodded and began. "It actually started a little before then, with a Loki who chafed at having his story be dictated by others. So he devised a plan." 

Captain America raised his hand. "I'm sorry, but could you clarify what you mean by 'a Loki'? Do you mean a different Loki from yourself?" 

"Well ... yes and no. Most Asgardians have died and been born anew, as part of the cycle of Ragnarok -- and sometimes in other ways. When we are reborn, we have the memories of our past selves -- but sometimes it gets confusing, as the lives we live, while often similar, aren't _exactly_ the same each time. And then there are things that can affect those lives, like the Tesseract, Infinity Stones, and time travel murking things up even more. At any rate, the version of me that most of you know best? He made certain ... _arrangements_ about his death and rebirth, before sacrificing himself to the Void -- if you can _call_ it a sacrifice, when he'd intentionally brought that series of events about, specifically so he could _do_ that." 

"And _why_ did he do that?" Rogers asked. 

"In seemingly sacrificing himself, he thought it would convince Thor that he still had a capacity for good. The plan was to have Thor wish Loki back to life as a child, one more or less free from the baggage of his past -- innocent -- and thus free of the weight of his own predictability, and of everyone's pre-concieved notions of who he was. _That_ Loki, who came to be known as 'Kid Loki', was to repair Loki's awful reputation." And Loki went on to tell of the exploits of good Kid Loki and his pet magpie-- 

"Don't forget Thori!" the dog complained. And then, to Loki's shock, the dog launched into the story of how, when the All-Mother commanded that Loki kill the Hel-Hound, Kid Loki had refused. The dog admitted his betrayal for the sake of his father, the Hel-Wolf. "Loki was not murdery enough for Thori," The dog finished. "Still is not. Sorry, Old Master," the dog apologised, hanging it's head, like it was sad over this. 

Loki was touched, if still wary. "It's okay; some things just aren't meant to be. I'm glad you're happy with Thor, at least, and he with you." 

"Thori is!" the dog confirmed, wagging his tail. Then he stilled, looking thoughtful. "Thori never thanked Old Master for saving him. Thori says thank-you now." 

And just like that, Loki's lingering resentment of the dog faded to nothing. "You're welcome." He scratched the dog behind the ears, and the dog didn't bite his hand off. 

Loki continued with the life and death of Kid Loki. He explained how the magpie, Ikol, was really a copy of the Old Loki, one that forced Kid to erase himself -- and then felt guilty for it. He explained how that new version of Kid had then had a psychological break whilst travelling with the Young Avengers (and trying to con Wiccan out of his power). And how he'd come to the end of that adventure a changed man, in all respects, thanks to his friends. 

Kate interrupted then, climbing up next to him. "And thanks to the original Kid Loki, too. You said it yourself, Lokes -- the memory of every Loki who's come before is inside you. That includes him. And I don't just mean that guilt-ghost, either. _You're_ Kid now -- and _more_." She turned to the crowd. "I know most of you have no reason to trust Loki, and every reason not to. I also know a great many of you have had your own dark hours -- your own dark _deeds_." She looked at Rogers. "Even Captain America came to be seen as a bad guy for a time, if through no real fault of his own--" 

"I'd debate the lack of fault," Rogers countered, standing up and taking in the crowd. "Kobik -- the Cosmic Cube -- may have rewritten my memories to make me think I was part of HYDRA, but _I_ still made the _choices_ based on those memories. And if anyone here can forgive me those choices _because_ of what I _thought_ I lived through ... first of all, thank you for your compassion ... and second, consider how being born of Frost Giants might have an impact on someone's life, both in what they do and how others perceive them. I won't say my situation was as extreme -- but then, I haven't lived as long. All I know is that it took my memories being set to rights for _me_ to be set to rights -- I couldn't have done it on my own. And there are still many people who can't trust me now." He turned to Loki. "I'm just saying ... Kate's right; there's not a one of us here who hasn't needed forgiveness. After my recent experience, I understand a little better now how hard it can be to change public opinion. And I'm sorry if I played any part in holding you back from reaching your true potential, sorry that there was a time I wouldn't have believed you capable of goodness; I know now that you _are_. And not because of Mjolnir's approval, but because of what you were willing to do: as in, _anything_ to keep from hurting others." He turned back to the other heroes. "So as I've had people to vouch for me, for my 'goodness', so I now do for Loki." 

Loki heard murmuring ripple through the crowd, and worried that they would turn on Rogers -- but instead, heads began to nod. 

"As do I," Kate announced. She reached out to take Loki's hand, then began her own story -- not facing the audience, but rather him, clearly understanding that he was the one most in need of convincing. She talked of times he'd helped her and their friends, times he'd even risked his life for them while they were on the run. She even mentioned seeing him try to hide his grief over their visit to a dimension with a fallen Asgard. (Apparently he hadn't hidden it as well as he'd thought!) And she told them of how Loki had sponsored a party for them and all their friends, but stood back from it all -- they hadn't even known Loki had sponsored the party, until Prodigy had revealed it. "Now. Tell me what happened to you _after_ that night." She squeezed his hand encouragingly, then went back to her seat. 

Loki picked the story back up with how the All-Mothers had promised, in exchange for him running errands and doing favours, to help him erase his misdeeds one by one, so that everyone might stop seeing him as a villain. How it turned out he had gone through all that once before, in what became an alternate timeline, and failed -- and how _that_ version of himself had conned the All-Mother into helping him sabotage his younger self's efforts to be good. 

Freyja interrupted to confirm what she'd done; he felt a strange mix of gratitude and pity over the guilt she now evinced. 

"This was the Loki that I first met?" Angela asked. 

Baby Laussa, in her arms, played with her hair. Remembering that Angela had once abducted Laussa, and seeing the trust their parents placed in her now, gave Loki hope -- for the _both_ of them. 

"Yes," he hesitantly replied, still aware that she might be angry with him over the loss of her Kid Loki. 

"Then I owe her, for she helped free me from the cult of Heven. Are _you_ her?" 

"Not exactly -- I'm a later Loki. Sort of. Hel, technically I'm not even the Loki I was before I got eaten by my father! It's complicated. But she is _part_ of me," Loki explained, shifting to her female form. "I have her memories like I do _all_ the Lokis who have come before." 

Loki continued her story with how the replacement-timeline version of Loki had thwarted that first-timeline / would-be future Loki's efforts by choosing to become a _different_ Loki, the Loki s/he was _meant_ to be: not just a God of Lies, but a God of _Stories_. 

In case there was any doubt as to Loki's claims about being the God of Story, Odin proudly told _his_ side of that story, how he had played confidant and witnessed the change. He was also sure to mention that he loved his child-who-was-both-genders-and-neither -- and that anyone who hassled this child would answer to him. (Loki suspected that this iteration of Odin -- the gentle, doting father -- wouldn't last -- he never did -- but she would enjoy the praise while it lasted.) 

As Loki took control of the story reins again, she slid back into her male self. As he spoke, memories of other timelines, other versions of reality, re-emerged. Like how there was another Ragnarok, just as a couple of the dimensions were colliding, and Loki had put all the Asgardians into a marble, to protect them. How he'd re-integrated with his alternate-future-self, making peace with his past and his nature, and, after telling off Those Who Dwell Above in Shadow, and gone exploring the multiverses with his best friend, Verity, until a new dimension emerged from the ruins of two. How, when their universe was born anew, Loki's memories became garbled, so he became something of a mix of the God of Stories and the Loki just before that, the All-Mothers' Agent of Asgard. No longer at peace with himself. Once again feeling like his attempts to be good were sabotaged, that no one would let him change. Once again caring what others thought of him. 

He spoke of how he returned to Freyja's service, this time as a double-agent in Malekith's army. He talked of stabbing his mother -- with the intent, he'd told himself, of protecting her ... and how he'd since come to understand that he'd really just let himself get wrapped up too far in his own cleverness. He admitted how, at Malekith's command, he'd thrown Aelsa, queen of the Light Elves, from a tower, hoping but uncertain if she'd be caught (thankfully, she was) -- and had justified it as necessary to maintain his precious cover. How talked of how he'd grown increasingly despondent with the idea that it was his _role_ to be seen as evil, regardless of his heart -- that the universe even _relied_ on him acting the part. He told them what he'd already told Rogers and Stephen, about why he'd done what he'd done with the Celestials, and the Infinity Stones. About what he learned at the God Quarry about the efforts of another timeline version of himself to stop him from doing the very thing he ended up doing _anyway_ \-- just not quite as catastrophically. 

"Oh, hey, it's my turn, yeah?" Logan spoke up. "Loki and I went on a mission together to protect one of the Infinity Stones, after that whole situation inside the Soul Stone. See, that dunderhead Adam Warlock make the Stones _sentient_ , and the Time Stone decided to park itself inside a two-bit hood. Well, it shouldn't surprise anyone that there were people after it, but the kid holding it didn't know how to _use_ the damn thing ...." And so Logan talked of how Loki used treachery to their advantage, and they were able to save the stone-holder. "So what'd ya do after _that_?" Logan asked Loki expectantly. 

Loki started to speak of his time in Hel with Thor, Balder, and Tyr (and Thori), when Thor took the story over this time. The Thunder God told of how he'd come to trust Loki again, and how Loki had even saved them ... only for Loki to refuse to help with the war, then speak cryptically of payment, then literally abandon ship. The look on Thor's face said he was still hurt -- but also now willing to give Loki the benefit of the doubt, hear him out. 

"I'm sorry for that, brother, truly," Loki swore. "When I refused your request, I told myself that I was still trying to keep my cover ... but really, I just wanted _out_ , to leave the whole damn mess behind. I've been hating myself every moment of every day, ever since I ...." 

He looked at Freyja; though she as hale and whole in front of him now, he couldn't erase the image, the _feel_ of his sword running her through. Of her lying in bed after, frail, dying. He would _never_ stop being sorry. 

She met his eyes and, standing, reached up to take his hand a moment, squeezing it. He understood: she wouldn't stop being sorry for her own betrayal of _him_ , either. He knelt down so he could kiss her hand. 

"And what about your supposed payment?" Thor pressed 

Loki wasn't sure if he was oblivious to the exchange with Freyja, or trying to help them past a personal moment. Well, either way, he loved his brother. 

"None of the weapons or artefacts I would have _expected_ you to take were missing," Thor continued, "so what _did_ you take from my boat, brother?" 

Loki waved his hand, conjuring the stolen portrait of Freyja. 

The real Freyja gasped, then gaped at Loki, tears in her eyes. "Even after I ...." 

Even after she'd told him he was no longer her son. 

"You had every reason to be angry with me, Mother," Loki soothed. "And I may have been hurt, but that didn't mean I didn't still love you -- that's one way, at least, that Loki has managed to change." He turned his attention back to the portrait, realising he couldn't keep it anymore -- and really, he no longer needed to. "Here, brother." Loki waved his hand, and the painting duplicated, one of them being illusory. He handed Thor the original, and vanished the illusion (which he could recall now anytime he wished). 

He went back to his story, telling of of how Laufey grew dissatisfied with him, how Malekith sent assassins after him-- 

Thor held up a hand. "Wait, he really _did_ try to kill you? So _that's_ where he got the idea for his ruse. And he ...." Thor sighed, looking dejected. "He overestimated how much I would care. Not that it mattered -- he still got the outcome he wanted." Then Thor looked sharply at the dog. " _That_ was what you were trying to warn me of, just before the double-cursed elf tricked me, and magicked me away!" 

Thori spun around, wagging his tail. "Yes, Master! Thori knew! Thori tried to warn!" 

"Tricked ...?" Loki asked. 

Thor explained how Malekith had shown up at the boat, pretending to be a severely injured Loki -- and how Thor had unwittingly gone with the Dark Elf, thinking Loki was taking him to see the very being he was already with. "And to think I almost _didn't_ go with him, because I thought he _was_ you." 

Loki could read between the lines all too well -- Thor had thought Loki dying at the time, and hadn't cared. 

Loki laid a hand on Thor's shoulder now. "I don't blame you for knowing me all too well; once upon a time, that's _exactly_ the kind of thing I would have done. I think I _did_ do something like that once, point in fact!" 

Thor squeezed Loki's hand. "Well, I hope to finally know _this_ version of you just as well as the _past_ ones. Anyway, Thori here started to say something just before Malekith began to teleport me to Jotunnheim." 

The dog nodded. "Thori realised Old Master didn't smell right -- wasn't Old Master! Knew it was Old Master on the boat the _first_ time because he smelled the same as when he was little!" 

A thought occurred to Loki. "Maybe Thori can help us find the trace of the Kid Loki construct that faded away on Ego!" 

"Verily!" Thor agreed excitedly, but quickly sobered. "We must still find a way to _resurrect_ him, though ...." 

"You need a way to recall a banished construct?" Stephen asked. "I think I might--" 

"Not right this second," Odin interrupted with a growl. " _Now_ the time is for _finishing stories_." 

After making a mental note to talk to Stephen later (and knowing better than to argue with the volatile god that was Odin), Loki told of how he'd let himself be eaten by Laufey. 

"You left out that you did it to _save me_ ," Freyja noted with find exasperation. 

"I won't deny that was part of it -- maybe even most of it -- but I also can't deny that I did it because I wanted to one-up Laufey, and be a _hero_ ," Loki confessed. 

And then he told them what he'd learned as he was disintegrating inside Laufey's stomach: how this latest war was his fault in the first place, how arrogant he was even when he was a failure, and how everything his others selves showed him was intended as torture by another future version of himself. How he'd begged whatever forces would listen to let him die -- but still woke up, alive, in a puddle of his birth-father's remains. 

"So ... here I am. Another _new_ Loki, sure, but ... I'm also _still Loki_. Whatever that means, and for whatever it's worth." 

"Let's see you hold the hammer!" someone called out; Loki didn't see who, but the cry was taken up by others. 

He couldn't blame them for wanting this validation of the truth of his claims (he had been fighting the urge to constantly re-confirm his worthiness pretty much all day, himself), so he did as they asked. 

The roar of approval made him stagger backwards. 

Was this his new normal? The new Loki: constantly speechless and in (happy) tears? 

Well, he could live with this. _Literally_ \-- it convinced him that he wasn't a threat anymore. (For now.) 

"Okay, that's enough -- let's not give him a swelled head," Odin chuckled, plucking Loki off the table and setting him down in a chair beside him. 

Somehow, Loki didn't mind being handled like a pup just now. As far as he was concerned, affectionate humility was a great thing when you were tryying to avoid becoming a hate-fuled god obsessed with dominastion. (Plus, he hadn't been sure how to exit the stage after that ending.) 

Loki peered around his father, to Thor. "I'd say it's your turn, brother; what happened after Malekith brought you to Jotunnheim?" 

As Thor climbed up onto the table and launched into his tale, Frigga, carrying Laussa, came over to Loki, Jane Foster beside her. 

Jane patted Loki on the shoulder. "Thank you for not making me regret not pummeling you that one time," she teased. 

"Thank YOU for not pummeling me!" he grinned. Then he softened. "And for giving me a chance." 

Jane nodded, then went off to talk to her new comrades. 

"Do you want to hold her?" Frigga asked Loki. 

He did. He would latch onto any and every anchor to this new self he could find. His relationship with Laussa was a blank slate, with no preconceived notions of him on her part. To her, he would be a big brother (and sister) -- something he'd never had the chance to be before. He was determined to protect her, and to set a good example for her. To never betray her -- and never give her a reason to betray him. Holding her was like holding Mjolnir: proof that he was worthy. 

He prayed he always would be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed that -- thank you for reading! I was tempted to do a chapter on finding Kid, but that end seemed the perfect place to leave this. Maybe I still will write about finding Kid, but as a sequel, if anything (lots on my plate, including other fics to finish).
> 
> As it is, I kinda want to do art of Loki's expression as they cheer for him, but I'm currently blind in one eye (surgery on May 20th), and it's hard to draw with the swirling blood in my vision (closing that eye doesn't help much, 'cause the other eye is a bit weak). BUT, if there's interest, maybe I will when I can see again (if I can find the time). ;)

**Author's Note:**

> If you're enjoying my writing, I invite you to explore my original fantasy storyverse, [Gaiankind](http://gaiankind.com)! You can even find Gaiankind stories for free [here](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Gaiankind) on AO3!


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